| Shits and Giggles |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|03:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
It has been 548 days since my last entry.
It doesn't seem that long when you measure in days, does it? It seems really long when I think about everything I've done in 548 days. Which makes me wonder about all the things I'm going to do in my life. I hope some of them have meaning...
I'm not feeling as nostalgic as I sound, more disappointed. I seem to be feeling that a lot lately. It really is a useless emotion, it is not motivational, just depressing.
I love that livejournal .still. is a place for me to be annoying and sad.
Some things never change.
Oh, but most things do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2008|11:59 pm] |
Faithful listeners, or readers rather,
My life sucks. At risk of being melodramatic, ha, who am I kidding? I straddle the line between obnoxious and melodramatic every second of the day. But I am sure you are well aware, dear friends.
I find myself hitting my relationship stride. I work like clockwork, a creature of habit. I am beginning to fight with doubt like those crazy chicks in women's wrestling. You know the ones who poor shit on each other and pound their chests like silverback gorillas in heat. Wow, this metaphor sucks, do forgive me. Anyways, Doubt, Fear, Anxiety, even Depression are all on my back.
I always get this way around this time and thus it leads to the downfall of all of my relationships that have had the stamina to survive this long.
I am not sure how to deal with it. I guess I never do. As much as I know that I am paranoid, it feels like I know just as well that all the signs are pointing in the wrong direction. I am not sure where my feelings reside either. I know that I desperately don't want my heart broken again, but is that what allows me to turn a blind eye to all the red flags? Oh my God, what if I am not good enough? What if I am clingy? Have I let myself cross the line?
I know what started off as kitsch is now something substantial. But what happens if it all comes crashing down? I can't handle that breaking too. How am I to be sure?
See what I mean, audience? I fuck myself over. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|11:40 am] |
What is it with me and my boyfriends' mothers?!
God damn it.
Hot and heavy is backhanded slang for slut whore bag. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2008|09:20 am] |
I want to be a tiger.
In every aspect of my life.
I am starting with the apparel, then learning to growl, and then attendance. Foolproof. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|03:38 pm] |
Aww, the ladies in the office are so cute.
Especially when they get witness you getting asked to prom. I know from experience ; ] |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|10:09 pm] |
The 2008 Version coming to you soon! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|06:34 pm] |
but its all good. the heart will go on, and on.
yeah I suppose
you have you cute shy boy now.
yeah the new one is scene
and doesn't want to cop cheap sex off of me
dude, totally better than ghetto. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|04:43 pm] |
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My brother is the fucking prodigal son. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|08:33 pm] |
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maybe he's just a fucking idiot who has nothing better to do than dwell on things that he can't really forget. |
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| Want to hear something weird? |
[Feb. 25th, 2008|06:23 pm] |
There used to be a room in my house before it burned down. Its not there anymore because we turned it into the kitchen/a closet. There used to be a desk in the room that kept random stuff like batteries and matches. Today I was looking for a lighter and I walked over to where the desk used to be, but now there is a wall.
I'm depressed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|10:00 pm] |
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Just because I'm white doesn't mean I can't eat that shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2008|08:49 pm] |
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hope, like soap on a rope. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2008|09:27 pm] |
Be my rock and roll soniye?
Ha.
I got 2nd in HDA.
People must follow the common courtesy rules of facebook commenting. Aka they need to comment back. kthanksbye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|05:39 pm] |
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My heart is beating really fast. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|01:18 pm] |
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It takes deep breaths and skillfully employed avoidance just to get through. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
I am sick to my stomach.
I wish I wasn't me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|05:34 pm] |
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We used to have pictures together. I want them back. Where did you put them? |
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